Mom’s Message to Me in My Dream

February 1, 2019

A few weeks after my mom died in 2013, I had a dream about her.

She was co-piloting a plane I was flying. As soon as the plane was in midair, I gasped, then turned to her and said, “Oh my gosh, I just remembered: I don’t know how to fly!”

“Yes, you do,” Mom said.

“No, I don’t!” I responded, my panic soaring right along with the plane’s altitude.

“You do, you just don’t know it,” Mom assured me. “Trust me, and fly.”

My heart started pounding, and I decided my best course of action was to stay very low to the ground. Anything loftier than that was too scary, too dizzying, too out of control.

So I flew really low, banging in...

I’ve Got Blisters On My Fingers!

January 24, 2019

As a kid, I was a huge fan of the Partridge Family, a show featuring five siblings forming a band with their widowed mom. (Think polyester bellbottoms, and you’ll have a sense of the lowest-common-denominator appeal of the not only the show, but of the seventies in general.)

Anyhoo, my older brother would occasionally breeze through the den when the show was on to mutter a contemptuous comment or two. He was particularly indignant when witnessing a scene of the Partridge Family performing “live.” The footage truly is a hoot, what with groovy vests, a strummed bass and a kid so somnolent on the tambourine that I’m surprised she wasn’t periodically checked for a pulse.

These nuances were lost on me as a kid (I was too busy digging on David Cassidy to notice), but not on my brother. I still remember him groaning, “There are no fade-outs in a live p...

The Candle Scent I’ve Put on Hold

January 9, 2019

Oooohhhh, Lemon Mint Leaf candle, how I’ve missed you!

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to compartmentalize different parts of my life. If I’m involved in one particular activity — say, exercise, or freelance magazine-writing, or crossword puzzle-solving — I have little rituals associated with each that are reserved exclusively for that activity. For instance, I have one music playlist for walking, one for biking, one for reading indoors, one for reading outdoors, etc. Another example: I listen to podcasts only when working on jigsaw puzzles. Ditto travel: Charleston is my walk-til-your-drop city; Hilton Head is my plan-my-new-year locale.

It’s not that I’m hopelessly anal, or that I mind spillage from one delightful pursuit to the next. It’s that I’ve come to consider everything I love sacred in and of itself, and I wa...

What’s Your Motivation?

January 1, 2019

My cousin asked a question at a family gathering a few days ago that I’ve been chewing on ever since.

A crowd of us were decompressing in the den at the end of a long festive day when she challenged us to share not our New Year’s resolutions, but the motivations behind them.

In other words: Why do we want what we want?

It was an excellent conversation starter, but one we struggled to wrap our heads around.

Why? I think we tend to fill our lives with lots of distractions to avoid having to answer this question. We don’t want to think too hard, or probe too deeply, or know ourselves too well to ponder the fears, insecurities and fragilities that drive our yearnings.